A beautiful Memory

Tonight we were on our way home from Grancy and Grumpa's house, a 15-20 minute drive.

You were so tired. You were rubbing your eyes and crying your very sleepy cry.

i felt so sad for you. It was real desperation in your voice, and my heart was breaking hearing my boy's pain. When you hurt, David, i hurt. i hurt worse than anything i ever have known.

But then.

i reached over with my right hand and starting rubbing your little bare feet. You have incredible feet. i love the softness of your feet and teensy toes.

You immediately put your thumb in your mouth, and rubbed your feet against my hand, like a kitten nuzzles its head against your leg. We sat there, listening to a violin concerto on MPR and enjoying our special moment.

Your feet felt a bit warm: i turned down the heat in the van.

In that moment, you started crying again and no amount of foot rubbing would calm your poor little soul until we got home and got you a bottle.

But i won't forget that 5 miles, David. That 5 miles of pure joy. Of knowing i am your mom. That the tiny feet i was stroking tonight are the same ones that used to bring such joy to my heart while growing from inside me.

Nothing will ever be the same again in my life, now that you're here. And i wouldn't want it to be.

You will always be my first child. My boy. My spud-bud.

Thank you for every moment, for every joy, for every sorrow, for every smile you have brought and will bring into my life.

i love you buddy.