David's birth story #2

Feb. 17- 7:30 We were in our room. We met our nurse, and were getting comfortable and getting all my stuff set up. Throughout the next hour or so, she kept checking my blood pressure and got me in my gown and all that stuff.

8:15 My doctor came in. Pretty sure he was glad to be done with me soon:) He broke my water, which took 4 tries with a very savage skewer-looking object, (ow), gave the nurse the ok to start pitocin, and said he'd see me later. He looked exactly like Dean Cain, by the way. It was odd, but during my pregnancy, every time Ripley's Believe it or not would come on tv, i'd feel this strange sense of closeness to Dean Cain. Weird. Anyway, the nurse started me on Pitocin, and i had mild contractions for about 1/2 hour, then she upped the dose.

9:30 i asked for my epidural. i had always known i'd want an epidural. i'm just that sort of person. i have no pain tolerance, and i really wanted to have a nice relaxing last day with just Kris and myself. People say that the epidural makes the baby sluggish, and you not remember stuff, and you not be able to feel the baby come out, and the baby not to be able to nurse right away, but i just believed in God that things would work out with the epidural. (And they did.) Anyway, there were three other women in the hospital in labor all asking for the epidural at the same time, with only one anesthesiologist. As the epidural is not necessarily a quick procedure, the nurse asked me if i wanted an hour of narcotic in my IV. It would be safe for the baby, and as my contractions were kind of a female dog as a result of the pitocin, i was more than ready to take the narcotic. First they put in a catheter, though, which was yucky, but with the epidural i'd have to stay in bed and not go to the bathroom. It was painful and i felt REALLY uncomfortable for a while. But then she gave me the narcotic.

Best hour of my life. It felt like when i woke up from having my wisdom teeth pulled, and i was warm and comfortable and loved everyone in the room. The room was spinning in a divine, dreamy sort of way, and everything was beautiful. That's how that hour went for me. Sometime while i was still all doped up, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural, which was great, too. He said because i was so relaxed, he was able to do a really good job giving it to me. It was one poke, and then i got to lie back down.

When the narcotic wore off, i had no more pain from contractions, and Kris and i tried to play Scrabble. It didn't work. i was too excited and starting to get really hungry. Plus it's hard to play that game without sitting at a table. Anyway, we watched Father of the Bride II (the one where the mom and the daughter have babies) and then watched the end of the 8th season of Friends, where Rachel has her baby and Joey accidentally proposes...and had a wonderful time. i was STARVING though. i was wishing i had eaten more than my rice cake for breakfast. i'm not sure why you can't eat while you're in labor, but i wasn't about to disobey. Kris, however, was starting to get faint, so i told him to go get some food. He was going to get McDonald's or something, but i asked him not to because if i smelled a cheeseburger without being able to eat, i'd probably kill him. So he got a PB+J from the cafeteria for the waiting daddies. Did you know that PB+J has a smell? It does. It smells incredible. i remember sitting there watching him eat all of that beautiful double-decker sandwich on wheat bread, with apple slices on the side. He offered to leave, but i didn't want him away from me! So i suffered not-so-silently while he ate, with my styrofoam cup of chicken broth looking feeble and gross. Occasionally, Kris would watch my contraction monitor and tell me when i was having a huge contraction, and i'd smile and say "Great!" It was a wonderful day. i tried napping, because i was getting a bit sleepy, but i couldn't get comfortable with my blood pressure cuff going every 5 minutes and needles poked in me from all different places.

3:45 The nurse came in and checked me, and i was at 10 cm! It was time to have a baby! God bless that epidural, i had no clue i was so far along. So the nurse went to go get other nurses and page my doctor. i realized that i'd read 10+ pregnancy books, and no baby books. i'd learned everything there was to know about pregnancy, but i suddenly realized i had no clue about what age babies should walk, or that i had never changed a poo diaper. After that initial fear, i got all excited again.

4:00 My delivery nurse, Judy, came in. She was this no-nonsense, friendly older lady who was a very take-charge type of person. She started to explain how to push and all that. i was glad she explained how to do it, as i wasn't able to take the birthing classes. But she caught me right up, and i was excited. Then i got nauseous and threw up. She said it had to do with my transitioning into labor and them changing the amount of pitocin. i felt way better after that and was ready to begin.

My belly never got gigantic during the pregnancy. It was big, yes, but then the nurse said "I think this is going to be a bigger baby than we expected. I'd say at least 7 lbs. 7 oz." Evidently, nurses and doctors like to bet on this stuff. 7 lbs 7 oz. seemed really big to me. It actually scared me a bit when she said that, but at that point, there's no going back. My doctor, (who had come in and was getting his stuff ready) said "No, I think it'll be more like 6 1/2 lbs. She's so tiny!"

Then Judy had me start doing "practice pushes." (They were real pushes.) She said i was a pro at them! The doctor was vague, as is his specialty, and so the nurse had me pushing, and i was going at it. i didn't pay attention to when they told me to push. i just pushed and would breath a couple seconds and push again. i had the doctor in the corner of my eye. He kept using his scissors, which was mildly concerning, but i couldn't feel it, so i just kept going.

In the middle of pushing, the room phone rang. The nurse answered it. It was Kris' mom. i got a little upset. Back story: i didn't want people knowing when i was giving birth. i wanted it to be a private nice day with Kris, and i wanted to be able to hold David as long as possible after he was born, and when i was ready, we'd call people, so i wouldn't have to feel guilty that others were outside waiting while i was holding him. So she called, and she was in the waiting room. The thing was, we were so overdue that we had told people that we were going in to be induced, instead of surprise! calling them after David was born. So she waited as long as she could that day and just...showed up. i understand why she was there. But it really stressed me out. So i had Kris call my mom and tell her to get there ASAP, because if Kris' mom was going to be there and not my mom, that would not be fair. This was just a really big deal to me. i just remember having the day i was giving birth feel like a really significant day in Kris' and my relationship. The last day of our being just two people, and then the first day with our brand-new son. i didn't want to share it with anyone else until i was ready. That kind of went out the window, but at least we got privacy during the day and the delivery. i really do understand that the family was excited. i'm not mad about it, but i was a bit disappointed that it didn't turn out quite how i'd hoped. Anyway, the next thing was wonderful!

i kept pushing, and the nurse said "Here's the head!" and told Kris to get down there and look. He and i had discussed this. Neither one of us wanted him to look. He's an EMT, so he doesn't get grossed out with stuff, but we didn't feel like he needed to see that...area while it was going through a profound change. But it was all for naught, as Judy grabbed him, pushed him up by my leg and said "Come on Dad, you gotta see this!" Kris has not said that seeing it bothered him, but he's never expressed gratitude for seeing it, either.

4:23 Then, in a last push, David came out! i just remember feeling this gush of relief, and seeing him emerge into the doctor's arms was incredible! i kept saying to him "i know you! i know you!" and crying and having this huge feeling of gratitude. They put him in my arms right away, and suctioned out his mouth and stuff while i was holding him. Then they took him to the little scale while we watched. David was 9 lbs, 9 oz. !?!?!?! Are you kidding me? Judy and my doctor were very surprised. They decided it was because he was so overdue, and i carried low which is why they couldn't tell. My doctor said "If I had known he would be that big, I'd have done a C-Section!" Thanks, doctor. It's a little late for that. He was 22" long, 15" head. i had a fifteen inch head come out of me. Trust me, it's not something you can just bounce back from.

The doctor, by the way, delivered my placenta and was glad we induced when we did, as the placenta was in pretty rough shape. i thought this was important to tell you, because my mom and i have always been convinced the dating on the ultrasounds were wrong and i delivered at 42 weeks and not 41. And i didn't get an ultrasound after my 20-week, so they had no clue how big he would be. Next time, i'm asking for a 36-week ultrasound. i'm not delivering a watermelon again!

My nurse brought Kris over and they washed David in the tub. He was so beautiful! He cried and cried, but she turned on the big beam light, which warmed him up. She taught Kris and i how to wash him.

Then she wrapped him up and had Kris hold him a while. (Have you noticed how Judy was the boss during this whole thing? i loved her.) It was incredible watching Kris hold our son. Our son.

Judy unwrapped David and put him in my gown so we could have skin contact while he nursed for the first time. His latch was immediately perfect. God bless him, he's always been an expert eater. After a few minutes, Judy said he was probably done and not to let him nurse for more than 15 minutes/side. She said he seemed like a greedy baby. This is so true! He's never stopped eating. i've always had to control the amount he eats, because he has never stopped on his own.

After that, i brushed my hair a little bit, got cleaned up, and we let people into the room. By that time, the whole family was there! And they came in and took pictures and were talking on their phones and were holding David, who basically screamed for 3 hours that evening. i had called my brother just a bit after he was born and asked him to bring me a specific sandwich, and it was the best thing ever. White bread, iceberg lettuce, deli turkey (not Cub brand), thick-sliced cheddar cheese, miracle whip, and a cherry coke. Have you ever gone through a huge life experience without food, and then gotten your exact craving afterwards? If you haven't, you should try it. It's wonderful!

This is a long post. i'll finish it up later, maybe after David's dinner. i was hoping to do this in one post, but it's too long. (i'm rambly.)

P.S. Did you notice how David was born very quickly after the nurse told me it was time? i pushed for under 10 minutes! People get mad at me, those who pushed for hours. And i really do feel sorry for them. But seriously, just remember, 15" head.

David's birth story #1

i was inspired to write out David's birth story by Stay at Home Mommy's series of posts about hers.

David has always done things a bit slowly. He's been the type of baby where he exhibits all sorts of signs of an upcoming phase, but it takes him FOREVER to get there. This was also true in utero. i was due on Feb 10, 2007. Starting around the early middle of January, my doctor noticed i was 1 cm dilated. i was pumped, because i was DONE being pregnant. Seriously. i was totally over it. So i started telling people! i stopped making plans to spend time with people, went on maternity leave early, and sat there and waited for the impending early arrival of my son.

January 15- At the next doctor's visit, i was still at 1, but the doctor said something else this time, something that gave me (false) hope. "I don't expect you to make it to next week's appointment." This was thrilling! i was very excited, but by the next appointment i was getting very impatient. i had read all my pregnancy books cover to cover, had watched all my movies, had my bag packed, and had meals frozen. My entire kitchen was clean, and i was starting to take David's newborn clothes out of his little dresser and just hug them, wishing he were wearing them right then!

January 22- The next appointment was the same.

January 29- So was the next. It was becoming a joke. "You're still at 1 cm! This time, I really don't think I'll see you next week!" my doctor would cheerfully sing.

February 3, i took a CPR training course taught by my husband and father-in-law, one i was hoping i wouldn't be able to attend. i played the part of the pregnant choker. (If you're doing the Heimlich maneuver on a pregnant lady, do it between the chest and the belly, not under the belly.) i am now CPR certified. i brought made-from-scratch cupcakes to the training, because i had been that bored.

February 6- The next appointment very exciting, because i was 4 cm dilated and David was due in 4 days! i had to have the baby by then, right?


February 10 *The Due Date*- i hadn't yet had contractions, but my stomach would occasionally tighten up for 10-20 sec. My mom told me these were contractions. (She was lying.) i couldn't feel them unless i put my hand on my stomach, but when she said i was having contractions, i got pretty excited, because this was happening quite a bit! That day, Kris and i were at Babies 'R Us at a clinic on how to install a car seat properly, and i noticed that every 5 minutes or so, i had one of my "contractions"! So we quietly went to the hospital and Kris called his work to let them know he wouldn't be there that night. After checking me out, the nurse left and came back about 4 hours 20 minutes later, with the news that my baby was not coming yet. She was nice and left for a bit, while i cried on Kris' shoulder. i was just so upset and miserable.

We left the hospital and started doing all those myths to get the baby out. We went to the mall and walked for a couple hours. We got castor oil, which ended up being funny because i didn't know of the effect it has on your digestive system! We had sex, ate spicy food, all of that.

February 13 *OVER DUE*- That appointment seemed to be encouraging. The doctor said "Well, are you very uncomfortable?" which was a silly question. Then he looked at his schedule and said "Do you want to induce on Thursday?" Another silly question. Of course we did! The nurse gave us the instructions that we were penciled into the system at Southdale, and they would call early Thursday (Feb 15) if they didn't have too many mommies actually going into labor. We were very excited. Finally something we could count on!

February 14- It was a lonely day. Kris was working, as he had been a lot, trying to get as much money before David came as possible. i sat there and watched my tivo'd episodes of Bringing Home Baby and A Baby Story.

February 15- 5:30 A.M. i was already awake, something i was used to since sleeping was so uncomfortable. i went downstairs and sat at the edge of the couch, clutching our home phone tightly. And i waited.
9:30 AM Kris came downstairs and told me i should call my nurse, something i was supposed to do if it was later in the morning and i hadn't heard from the hospital. i called her. And no, they could not fit me in for an induction, as i was pretty low on the priority list, not being quite one week overdue. Devastation surely followed. i don't ever remember crying that hard. Kris was great, and understood that in horrible situations, spending money will generally ease some of the pain. We went to Target and bought a baby monitor. Then we went to Olive Garden and had lunch. i felt horrible. i can't remember the rest of the day. It seems silly, but i remember that day feeling like one of the lowest points in my life. The baby would never come out, and i would be pregnant forever. All i wanted to do was meet my little guy!

February 16-i got a call from my nurse, my beautiful nurse Stacy! She had beautiful news for me: i was to be induced on the next day, Saturday! i was higher on the priority list as i was now one week overdue. Much more than that would mean the placenta would deteriorate and not provide adequate nutrition to li'l David. i was to call the hospital at 6:30 AM this time and make sure my "appointment" was still set. An appointment to have a baby!
That night i went to don Pablo's with my parents (yum! My fav restaurant) and visited my aunt, who had just had back surgery, in the hospital. My parents got me a Medela Pump 'N Save at Babies 'R Us.

February 17- 5:15 AM. i woke up, and was all nervous and butterfly-y. i was supposed to eat breakfast, but was too nervous and only ate an apple rice cake, which i would regret later.
5:45. Checked my watch.
6:00. Kris got out of the shower and joined my nervous couch-sitting. We watched something on t.v., not sure what.
6:15. Is it too early to call? Probably.
6:25. You know what? Screw it. i'm calling.
6:26. They answered, and yes, i was going to have a baby! i needed to get there as soon as possible, because they were waiting. They were waiting at the hospital for me to come so they could get my baby out!
6:30 i was showering and getting all that last minute stuff ready, like a toothbrush and my laptop, things i was too chicken to pack earlier in case i couldn't give birth that day.

More to follow!

Birthday indecision

Kris' birthday is in two weeks. i've asked him what he wants, and he says he wants for me to not buy him anything, but as we didn't get any gifts for Valentine's, i'm not going to go two gift holidays with no gifts! So i'm trying to decide what to get for him.

i know of Xbox games that he wants, but they are all still $60 and i don't have that kind of cash. i'd get him a movie, but i'm tired of getting him movies. Plus, he wants so many and i want to punish him for holding me hostage in Best Buy for hours at a time in the movie section.

i already got him a bowling ball and shoes, and he bought a bowling bag already, so bowling is pretty much covered.

i'm considering getting him Heroes season 1 on dvd. (Which is different than buying him a movie because it's many more hours than a movie, plus, i like it too.)

i'm still trying to think of something to get him that will make him go "Yay!" Let me know if you think of any suggestions!

Phew, it's over.

i had my ultrasound and doctor appt today, and everything is fine. If you want to read more in depth about it, you can here.

i'm relieved, though there is still some risk of M/C, there always is, right? So i'm going to
"just keep swimming" and pray that everything continues to go well. i think this pregnancy is going to be much more closely monitored than the last, though, as far as ultrasounds and doctor's visits are concerned, which is fine with me.

Tomorrow will be a big day for me, and i'm going to go rest. Have a great night, and thanks for your thoughts and prayers today! You all were a big encouragement to me!

Ultrasound today

i just wanted all of you to know that today i've got an ultrasound scheduled and am a bit worried about it. i've had spotting 3 times in 1 1/2 weeks, and that is a little scary. The second time it happened, (on Monday night) the on-call doctor told me to schedule an ultrasound. The earliest one i could get was today. This is not exactly an emergency ultrasound or anything, but it is a "concerned" one, and is much earlier than they would normally have scheduled one. Then when more bleeding happened yesterday i called the nurse and she said it wasn't so great that i have a negative blood type and am spotting. So she talked to my doctor, who i haven't met yet, and he wants me to come into his other office in a different clinic as soon as my ultrasound is done. i wasn't scheduled to see the dr until March 19.

It's scary because i realized today that i have gotten 2 positive pregnancy tests, and nothing else. Haven't gone to the dr and heard a heartbeat, or even had an exam or anything. So today, when i go to the ultrasound, i'm worried about what i will-or won't-see on the screen. i'm having all these very bad dread feelings.

This is a very obvious statement, but i really hope everything turns out well today.

New layout

Do you like it? i do, but what i didn't like was that adding the new template took out all my sidebar links and stuff, and i had to start all over.

Guess what? i played violin yesterday. My friend Lisa and i are playing a wedding on Friday, with her on piano and voice and me on violin. i haven't played violin in a wedding in a LONG time. We had a great time rehearsing yesterday, and i was much better at playing than i thought i would be, especially since i hadn't taken it out since the last time.

i'm really tired of my clothes not fitting. This is not due to pregnancy, this is actually due to a crazy metabolism that crashed after i had David and went on the depo shot. But really, even the large sized clothes i bought after David was born are snug. Nothing is comfortable, and everything makes me look like a middle-aged man. (Pot belly, love handles.) And my new size of jeans is weird, too. The size down (8) is way too tight, but the size i'm wearing (10) ends up going way farther down over my booty than is appropriate when i bend down. And because all my shirts are too small, they can't be pulled down to a comfortable length over my behind to avoid embarrassment. All my button-downs gap. All my stretchy sweaters stretch and show my lovely pot belly and muffin-top i've got going. Clinton and Stacey would not approve, but i've taken to wearing my husband's shirts, which hide all unfortunate body circumstances, but bring up new problems, such as looking like one of those "sweatshirt" moms, which i swore i'd never be. (No offense, sweatshirt moms. i see where you're coming from.)

There. Rant over. If you feel like reading something funny after this post, read this Dave Barry article i laughed until i cried over today.

Interesting news

So, i've known about this for a while, like 3 weeks, and have wanted to tell you all, but i couldn't think of a way to tell you with a suitable amount of aplomb. So, i'll let David do it.


Due Date: October 12
New blog!

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage-pretty cool!

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Family tree diagram - Roots

i hate this picture of me, but as this seemed to be my only headshot looking forward, i had to choose it. It's freaky though! i did not know that certain parts of my face resemble Katie Holmes, but, i'll take it!

i got this from Just Another Crazy Family

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Now playing: Brian Doerksen/Steve Mitchinson - All Creation
via FoxyTunes

David's Birthday #2

We had David's second birthday party last Sunday. It has taken me three days to get to posting about it, because, well, i'm pretty birthdayed out. It went very well! It was mostly for family and people that are basically like family. i think 19 were there besides Kris and David and i. Many fewer kids, but that means more adults (=more chairs required!)

The food was awesome, in my humble opinion. But truthfully, everyone raved about it and i will be publishing the recipes in my food blog, which has about 2 inches of dust on it. i will update it soon with my sun-dried tomato hummus recipe, requested by Liz, and my meatloaf cupcake recipes and my salsa recipe.

David had a pretty good time, but he was clingy to me and to my mom that night. It's funny how he'll pick completely different people to cling to! Anyway, i think he was tired from the exhaustion of the day before, and not getting a nap 2 days in a row would make any serial napper clingy!

Kris' and my two adorable nieces were there.

David enjoyed his *free-for-1-year-old-birthday Byerly's cake.

He liked it alot!

i was the assigned photographer that day, so unfortunately not many good pictures were taken, but he enjoyed opening his gifts. Seriously, best toys EVER. He will be playing with his stackable cups and cool Fisher-Price doggie for weeks!

It was a wonderful party. And it's over, which is slightly more wonderful.

Grr...taxes

Kris and i are in our second year of marriage. Last year we filed at H&R Block and were pretty happy with the results. We got together all of our stuff, brought it to the place, paid them like $110, and we got around $1000 back. We were pretty excited about this year's tax prep, because we had our son last year and figured that plus our property tax would be a major cha-ching for us. Plus, if H&R Block was only a little over $100, it was about $30 more expensive than tax software, surely worth it because we are certainly not qualified to do a good enough job ourselves, right?

Umm, no. Turns out we made just a little too much to qualify for earned-income things, and what we got back from having David was put into paying the gov. back for all of our self-employment stuff we did. Kris worked several 1099-worthy jobs last year, all of which were week-long type gigs, like being the on-site medic for a couple movies that were filmed in MN and being a every-so-often drummer at our church. i was not considered an employee of my church till Jan 2008 so all that i made last year had to be taxed and social securitied from the child credit. Anyway, we were looking at about $800 federal after all was said and done. i thought, "Oh man, and we have to take $100 out of THAT for H&R Block?"

Then Tax Man, who really is very nice, told us the news that H&R Block charges you for every piece of information they put in there. So Kris' $400 of drumming at church? A $30 fee. We ended up paying $354 just for H&R Block! The Tax Man did as much of what he could by giving us a $20 discount, but it was still very disheartening. He gave me a ray of hope, though, and said that if we had paid over $2700 in medical bills this past year, we'd get some more back.

So i went home and called the hospital and the two clinics and Walgreens about every doctor's visit and prescription bought for all of us this last year. Took me like 3 hours. i found out that we had indeed spent $3000 on medical stuff last year. i called Tax Man back and he said "Great. Let me input that and i'll call you and let you know how it will affect your return."

i got excited. We spent over a certain amount on medical bills, so maybe that would put us in a different tax bracket or give us some sort of medical refund thing or something, right? Tax Man called back. We got a whopping $38 from having paid that much! And guess what? The H&R fee for inputting that into our taxes was $18. So we got $20 back from that. i can't complain about it. i really can't. i want to, but can't.

However, i can learn from it.
i learned to

• Buy the tax software. i guess it's just as easy as can be and you're not paying someone upwards of $400/half hour like we did today!
• Be a better saver if you must be self-employed. My church hired me this year, so i won't have that blow next year, but for Kris' "gig"-type jobs, i'll try to follow my mom's advice and put some of the money into a savings account so we won't spend what really won't end up being ours.
• And above all else, i learned to not depend so much on the tax return!
  

Thankfully, something very wonderful happened to us this week, reminding us that God knows what's going on in our finances and wants us to succeed. Really, it was quite powerful and moving and i'm not going to go into detail, just....Some people were very loving and generous towards us from an unexpected alley, reminding us that God shows us His love through a lot of people and places, and we are very grateful to Him and to them.

Cute stuff!

i went to Target today to get David's one-year-old pictures taken. i had a coupon that got me
1 free 8x10
4 sheets of 8 wallets
1 sheet of 2 5x7
1 sheet of 4 3x5
no sitting fee
______________
$25.50


Pretty great, huh? i was very excited about it. So then we were looking around to tire him out for his nap, and found diaper genie refills 2/$10, and Valentines hand towels for .49 and .74.

And then i saw these beautiful totes. And fell in love. i'm not sure which i like better, but they are both good sizes for, maybe, some small toys and a baggie full of Goldfish crackers and a bottle and diapers and an extra 18 mos. outfit and....well it's a good size for a travel bag, like for when i need to bring David to rehearsals and he has to chill in the sanctuary, or when we go to the Twins games and the diaper bag is too large for sitting comfortably. Either of them are wonderful, and they are very conveniently only $9.99. i should get one, don't you think? Well, i'm still proud of myself for resisting as of yet, but we'll see how firm my resolve stays.

Shoutout

i just wanted to put out a post in honor of Kris' brother's band, Epicurean. They are an incredible dark metal band and have been signed to Metal Blade Records. (Metal Blade was the original record company for Metallica, and has also given a voice to incredible bands like As I lay Dying, GWAR, and Cradle of Filth, one of my favorite metal bands.)
Their cds are sold on ITunes and at Best Buy, and they are on a national tour that is going really well.

My brother-in-law, John, is the fabulous drummer and the sole original member since he and some friends started the band 10 (?) years ago. Now it's morphed into what it is today, a successful and soon-to-be gigantic hit metal band.

i'm also proud to say on new year's of 2004 i played keyboards for them at the Quest. Someday that will be a big deal for me to say that i once played a gig with Epicurean:)

Bet ya didn't know that i heart metal, huh? In fact, the second song we played for David in utero was "Progenies of the Great Apocalypse" by Dimmu Borgir.

Anyway, check out Epicurean, and be sure to listen to the physics-defying speed of the drummer's double kick pedal!

Birthday party #1

Sorry about the weird picture sizes in this post. i don't know what happened, but i'll fix it later.


Yesterday was David's first first birthday! It was a wonderful party. Almost everyone we invited showed up, and it was a total blast. Furthermore, our house is CLEAN! That's a miracle in itself, since it has been unlivable since Dec 31 when we started this project.

If i'm counting right, there were 8 kids there besides David, all aged 4 and under. That's a lot of kids! i've never been around that many kids, and have never had that many in my house at the same time! It was really fun, though. i think David's next birthdays might be better for have friends over because then they would be big enough to do activities together.

David got some great gifts.


Other bigger kids helped him open the gifts, because he was being a little slow and not relishing the joy of ripping the paper as much as he could have.

The other kids had cupcakes. With blue frosting. Wow, there were a lot of kids.


David got mad that other kids got their cupcakes first.

David finally got his cupcake! He pretty much inhaled it.

He kept eating it. i don't think he took a breath until that thing was gone.



Today is his actual birthday. And his second party is this afternoon. Happy birthday, David!
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Now playing: Faith No More - Introduce Yourself
via FoxyTunes

Heartbreak

Please pray for my dear friend. She and her husband have miscarried their baby, and my heart breaks for them in their grief.

i heart God.

Yesterday was one of those days where i felt like God was speaking to me. i'm sure He speaks to me much more than i know, but yesterday it was like He was grabbing me by the arm and saying "Hey, hey, do ya see Me? Guess what? I've got something just for you today!"

First, i was on my way to church and a little cranky, as i have to get about 2 hours earlier than normal on Sundays. But as i turned off of my street, i saw the sky, looking like this.

That light on the right is the sun, but that thing in the middle looked kind of like a rainbow or some beautiful vertical light beam thing. Anyway, i was thankful for my digital camera that i randomly had in my purse. The picture obviously could not capture exactly what it looked like, but i'm just letting you know that it was a special sight for me and it made me feel like the day would be special.

Then, this past week at church, Pastor Joel was talking about how people's faiths are impacted the most at home. i was a bit distracted during the sermon, because he kept going off on tangents about how God is like Aretha Franklin, and later how God is like the garbage man, but the main point of the sermon was that i must model God for my children. i haven't been reading the Bible to David as much lately, because he wants to hold the book himself and would tear the pages, but i will start again with that. If God is a part of our daily routine, i believe our lives would change.

i am God to my children. It is very humbling, you know? i am the person David looks up to for guidance and all the answers. He blindly follows what i say, and it is my job to little by little turn his faith towards God. It's a big responsibility, and i am already a failure. Thankfully, God knew that i would suck it up, and He designed forgiveness for reasons just like that.

We have sinned against you.... by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.

i love the Lutheran liturgy. It is teaching me so much every week. Yes, we say the same thing every time, but it's got so many layers. i thank God for bringing me the liturgy at this time in my life, rather than earlier when its meaning might have gotten lost in the monotony.

Anyway, it is my goal to feed our bodies with better food, as they are vessels of the Holy Spirit, and our souls with more substantial content. God has so much to teach me, and if i'm open to Him, i will be a good example to my son and those around me.

About food

i have been thinking about what i've eaten and the foods i give David lately. It is so very easy for me to put too many Goldfish crackers on his high chair lately, buying myself 15 minutes or so *Bad Mom Alert* or 25 minutes if i turn on the tv as well. i've realized he's gotten tons of carbs and cheese, which admittedly, toddlers do need. However, i've really gotta focus on providing him with meals where i set limits on how much he eats and what exactly he eats, taking the time to plan and prepare, instead of pouring him 30? 50? Goldfish crackers out of our Sam's Club economy sized bin while i search desperately for something of substance for him to eat. Usually it ends up being even more carbs, like ravioli, or cheese quesadillas, or oatmeal, things that take about 5-10 minutes to prepare, including deciding-what-to-make time. This diet is unfortunately what i am used to eating, but he really should be getting more diversity in his diet. He's loved everything i've given him, so why am i just feeding him the same old stuff? Because i won't leave the house and buy fresh food, and am too lazy to cut it up/cook it when i do have it. He's gobbled up avocado, broccoli, mangoes, apples, hummus, anything i've given him, on the occasion that i've put it in front of him, so there is no excuse for my not providing him with those things more regularly.

Just today i was inspired by this blogger i found randomly who legitimately puts thought into her menus, and plans them ahead of time. This is pretty great stuff. She feeds her child oatmeal, and crackers, but also other things, and seems to be empowered by having a set menu. You know how when you choose an outfit the night before that getting ready is so much easier and quicker? It seems to be that way for many women with menus. i would have to adapt my menus to my situation, with Kris being home for lunch and not dinner, but i think it could work. Once David's birthday is over and the house is clean and i get another paycheck, i will organize a list of regular meals, make a menu, and go grocery shopping. i will buy exactly what i need and no more, and i will also clip coupons to expand my savings.

As far as my diet is concerned, i think part of my problem is that i forget about meals until i am hungry. i pretty much eat twice a day, and they're always at different times. When i get hungry here at home, i just figure out what will be the fastest, (usually frozen pizza, 425 degrees for 12-14 minutes) instead of thinking at 11 AM, "i should put chicken in the oven with mixed veggies and a cream soup". This menu will be good. If i make a menu for David, it will mostly be what i eat, too, so if he eats more balanced meals, i will, too.

P.S. i bought edamame beans the other day at Sam's club. They are a young soybean that come frozen, and you can thaw them out, shell them, and eat them. They are like mini lima beans, but they have kind of a creamy, nutty flavor that David and i love. They will definitely be on the snack rotation.

Book meme

i've been tagged!

Here's the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Family themes may dictate the amount or type of currencies used. "The Hatfields will stick be each other through thick and thin" may require members to provide money for hard-pressed relatives. Boundaries may establish which members or outsiders may receive more personal types of affection.
-Family Communication: Cohesion and Change by Galvin, Bylund and Brommel

That textbook was in a bookshelf near me. i am not actively reading it, it's just that the books i am reading are farther away right now. This was an incredible book that changed my life, and is helping me to better be able to understand the way my family works, as well as my extended family. i should read it again though.

Anyway, thanks for tagging me Susan! i will now tag my new blog friend Daphne, as well as Kristine, Liz, Sarah, and Silas.

Sucky Tuesday

i am very happy that a record number of people showed up to the caucuses last Tuesday. However, that is about the extent of the good that happened that day.

First i got an email from my mom asking me to call her. i found out that my childhood dog, Brak, slipped badly on some ice that morning out in her backyard. From what i understand, he already had very bad arthritis in his one back hip, and he dislocated the other back hip. My brother had taken him to the vet that morning. He needed surgery that would have put his weight on the arthritic hip, and would not have even necessarily worked and would have been thousands of dollars. It was just not an option. Brakster would have been in so much pain. So we decided the loving thing would be to put him out of his misery. We found out he had all these spine things in his back, too, that had probably been hurting him for months, and we didn't even know about them. So my brother called me and said that if i wanted to come say goodbye, i should come quickly. Brakster was all doped up, and they'd wait for me.

So i didn't even shower or anything that morning, just put on clothes in a daze and started driving. Kris and David followed me in Kris' car. i was bawling my eyes out. This was the only dog my mom ever let us get. We got him when i was 16, when our family was going through one of its toughest times so far. That dog continued to be right there when we needed him during ensuing even tougher times. He was loyal, and friendly, and had very many charming quirks. He was a member of our family. So i'm crying and driving, and then i started hearing clicking sounds, and my car was decelerating. So Kris and i were trying to get to a street where i could take a right, and i was in the right turn lane right in front of Valleyfair, but i had to brake so others turning left wouldn't crash into me. And there, in the right turn lane, my car died. Dead. It needed a new engine, about $3000, more than what a 2001 Saturn SL2 with 104,000 miles was worth.

i called Roadside Assistance my mom has on all of our cellphones, and they called in a tow, and my brother came and picked up David and i while Kris took care of the towing situation. Then we went to the Vet, so i could say goodbye to my dogster. Here's some pictures of him. His tongue was hanging out because of the meds they had him on.

He kept picking up his head, and i'd try to take pictures then. It was heartbreaking, guys. i've never had a dog before, and it shocked me how much i fell apart losing him. But i'd get up close and rub his nose with mine, and he didn't even lick me like usual. Poor little man.

So, Tuesday was a horrible day!
R.I.P. Selma the Saturn, 2001-2.5.08
R.I.P. Brak, Dec 27, 2000-2.5.08

My Valentine

i am writing about this so i can win this contest. But it's fun to have an excuse to tell the story, too.

i met Kris in high school, the very end of school junior year. i met him when he was auditioning to play drums for Show Choir Band. He had a few hours to kill before he had to work (at Arby's) so i asked him if he wanted to go pick up my dog from the groomers with me. i was seeing someone at the time, but we were having problems, so it was fun to have a day with a guy that wasn't laced with pressure to be cool or whatever:) Anyway, we got along really well. And then we didn't see each other again till school started in the fall.

We would see each other in the hall, and we'd hug because we're both very huggy people, but we didn't have any classes together and he was dating some girl, whose real name i can't remember, as i always referred to her as "Ugly Hair". i dated two guys between spring and winter that year, but as it happened, i was single on December 2, 2002, when i saw Kris walking down the hall during school. Neither of us had to go to class that hour, as fate would have it, so we talked for a while. i thought he was pretty cute, and i generally go after what i want. So here's the conversation we had:

Me: How's the little lady?

Kris: What little lady?

Me: Oh, I thought you were dating that one girl i see you with.

Kris: Oh, no, I'm not dating anyone right now.

Me: Oh. Well then, what are you doing Friday night?

And that's how it went. December 6, 2002, we had our first date, even though neither of us were positive if it was a real date. It was kind of funny, actually. We hung out after the Holiday Show that night, and drove up North 100 really far, and then decided to go to Perkins. Kris was really not very talkative that night, because he was very tired, but he said my voice was soothing. And i was very talkative because i get all jazzed up around cool peoples.

We decided after about an hour of driving to go to Perkins. Here's where it got awkward: we went in there and saw friends eating after the holiday show. We were talking to them, and the server asked us if we wanted to sit by them, or if we were on a date and wanted to sit by ourselves! And we both just stood there and felt stupid, eventually deciding to sit with our friends. For some reason, can't remember why, i think they left, or we didn't pay much attention to them or something, but i don't remember them at all during our time there. We weren't hungry, and just ordered drinks. i ordered a Coke with grenadine, which is one of my favorite things, and had Kris taste it. Kris said he liked it. (Come to find out, he HATES cherries and was just trying to make me happy that night. Isn't that cute?)

After Perkins, we went to Walgreens and looked at those tiny books you give people as gifts, and all the funny birthday cards, because there is truly a limited amount of activities for teenagers to do on Fridays after 10 PM. i had borrowed his jacket, because i'm always cold, (thus why he calls me "jessicle" and my handle is "pianomomsicle") and when i was dropping him back off at his car at school, he asked for his jacket back. i started taking it off, and he leaned over really close to my face, so i kissed him. And it was one of those kisses that is not reciprocated that makes you feel like a complete fool! And we got all stammery; he was sorry, he was mostly leaning in to get his jacket. Then he leaned in to kiss me on purpose, but i laughed at him and said good night.

i got home, and felt stupid, but was on the high that comes from knowing you're getting into something good. Then i realized i didn't have his phone number, or last name. So, Stalker-jessica got online with one of our mutual friends who gave me his cell number. i called him, and this is like 11:30 PM, but he was really glad to hear from me and felt stupid we forgot to exchange information. And then we talked for about 4 hours! And we talked about stuff we were too shy to talk about on our "date". i learned about his faith, and we found out we had very similarly eclectic tastes in music, and about our plans for college. It was a great talk. We got together the next night, where he came to my house, and (always a great thing) met my parents, who fell in love with him right away, because he's just one of those guys you trust right away. We watched the movie "Blazing Saddles," where we shared our first perfect kiss and everything was all gooey and wonderful from there. And five years later, even though things are much more realistic and stressful, they are still wonderful, and i'm excited to spend the next 50 years waking up next to him.

That's how i met Kris. *Sigh* i wish he were home now so i could give him a nice big kiss. i love these beautiful memories!

P.S. i did finally learn his last name:)

Friday 5, Feb. 1

1. Which open-all-night establishment has been a lifesaver for you? Cub Foods. When i was pregnant and couldn't sleep, i'd get up and go there, buy cake mix or cookie ingredients, bake, and then go back to sleep.
   
2. What open-all-night establishment is closest to where you live? Walmart. Walmart Shakopee really isn't too bad, considering. It's much better than Bloomington Walmart, where you fear for your life every time you walk its dirty, narrow aisles.
   
3. What nonexistent open-all-night establishment could you really use in your life? All-night oil change places. (i'm only thinking this because i desperately need an oil change but never think of it during the day.)
   
4. Which open-all-night establishment in your town is least likely ever to see your patronage in the wee hours of the morning? Pretty much all of them, now, since i'm home with David all night and he sleeps through the night, thank goodness. i really miss my late-night White Castle trips though. 2 regular and one jalapeno cheeseburgers, please!
   
5. Have you ever purchased anything advertised on television late, late at night? Almost. Every time i'm up late and i'm watching the ads on QVC, i find things i NEED that i previously didn't know i needed. i have almost bought several things, one of which that comes to mind is Christmas mugs, shaped like Santa, a Snowman, and a reindeer, with little places in the handles to hold matching spoons. i also almost always buy the Shark Steam Mop. It greatly impresses me, at least when i'm tired and my contacts are off! Kris and i also like to watch the magic bullet commercial. It never gets old!